Decisions, Decisions: Choosing a Meaningful Life in a World of Conflicting Voices

Part of dispelling the fear of missing out is deciding that my inner voice is the most significant in a sea of variable opinions. Decision-making, and what leading a meaningful life actually means.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost is among the most popular works of American literature. I was first introduced to the poem in the third grade, and read it several times, (often against my will), since. My fifth-grade moving up ceremony included a recitation of the poem. It was a celebration of both our individualism and our willingness to uphold it, even when it felt difficult.

A poem that makes it to several classrooms, Twitter feeds, and ceremonies is undoubtedly both influential and pervasive. Imagine my shock upon finding out that America’s collective understanding of the poem deviates from its actual meaning.

During my sophomore year of high school, my English teacher assigned a reading that underscored the ambiguity of the piece. I’ll spare you the English lesson, as I’m aware that not everyone is fascinated with literary analysis. But in his attempt to draw attention to the actual meaning, my teacher highlighted a few lines:

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other, just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same

The speaker looked down both paths and understood that on appearance, the two roads were virtually identical. And while the other seemed like uncharted terrain, the two roads were equally explored. Yet, at the end, the reader assumes (or hopes) that one day, he will be able to say that he took the road less traveled, and that decision shaped his life’s trajectory.

This is not a poem about embracing individuality—at least not in the conventional sense. It is a poem about the nature of decision-making in our personal journeys. More specifically, it is a poem about the arbitrariness and occasional spontaneity that accompanies the decision-making process.

This theme is growing increasingly important to me as I navigate adulthood. We are constantly fed messaging about how to do life right, and they’re often conflicting. Messaging about the abundance of time, and messaging about its finitude. Messaging about the significance of making time for ourselves, and messaging about working now and resting later.

I used to pride myself on having an absorbent mind, as much of my growth stems from my receptivity. However, I am learning that occasionally being strong-willed in the navigation of our lives is not necessarily a fault. We occupy a world where we have access to a host of information, which means we also have access to a host of opinions. Equally as damaging as total obstinance is a strict acquiescence to others’ directives and truths. Taking in too much results in a gradual drowning-out of our own tune.

At its core, the manner in which the figures we admire navigate their lives mirrors the manner in which we navigate ours. Like the speaker in the poem, they, too, are making a number of choices and attaching meaning upon reflection. Perhaps, this is symbolic of what life is about overall: making a bunch of decisions, most of which are arbitrary, and assigning meaning to them in retrospect.

Understanding this heightened my sense of personal agency. The only time we experience regret, or the fear of missing out, is when the world’s conflicting voices out-compete our inner voice. We can make a slew of decisions that do not align with what others may want for us, and they are worthwhile as long as we make the ultimate choice to decide that they are. They contribute to our lives in significant ways as long as our framing makes them fit within our personal journeys.

While many people can tell us what it means to live a meaningful life, the beauty of life lies in the condition that enables them to do this in the first place: its lack of innate meaning. This creates a chasm where we can fill and live by our own. Embracing personal agency in life’s decision-making process means working to ensure that in the battle against a myriad of opinions and demands, our personal visions for our lives prevail.